Learning to love well requires knowing your own needs and discovering the needs of those you are in relationship with (these are written with friendship in mind as well). Select your top three relational needs and share them with your spouse or good friend. Allow them to share theirs as well and talk about how to specifically meet each other’s needs.
- Acceptance – receiving another person willing and unconditionally, especially when the other’s behavior has been imperfect: being willing to continue loving another in spite of offenses (Rom. 15:7)
- Affection – expressing care and closeness carefully respecting the boundaries of the other person (Rom 16:16: Mark 10:16)
- Appreciation – expressing thanks, praise, or commendation: recognizing accomplishment or effort (Col. 3:15b 1 Cor 11:2)
- Approval – building up or affirming another: affirming both the fact of and the importance of a relationship (Eph 4:29: Mar 1:11)
- Attention – conveying appropriate interest, concern, and care: taking thought of another: entering another’s world (1 Cor 12:25)
- Comfort – responding to a hurting person with words, feelings, and touch; to hurt with and for another’s grief or pain (Rom 12:15b; Matt. 5:4; 2 Cor. 1:3-4; John 11:35)
- Encouragement – urging another to persist and persevere toward a goal; stimulating toward love and good deeds (1 Thess. 5:11. Heb 10:24)
- Respect – valuing and regarding another highly; treating another as important; honoring another (Rom 12:10)
- Security (Peace) – harmony in relationships: freedom from fear or threat of harm (Rom 12:16, 18)
- Support – coming alongside and gently helping with a problem or struggle: providing appropriate assistance (Gal. 6:2)