My life looks much different now than it did two years ago; I have something called spare time. Many of you long to build spare time into your very busy lives. For me, this was a huge adjustment and the beginning of a very difficult, emotional season. A season I will call “winter.”
I’ve expended a lot of energy fighting this season. I wondered if there was something wrong that kept me from finding new friends. Or having a full client load in my private practice. Or some disobedience that prevented additional opportunities in ministry. I prayed, talked to my family, sulked, complained to my husband, distracted myself with food, and eventually (several months later) grew quiet enough to hear God speak.
Tuning into my soul (mind/will/emotions) and listening to God took time. At first I needed to be honest about what I was feeling. I practice an activity I call “interviewing my feelings.” Perhaps you could benefit from this process as well.
- What am I feeling?
- When did this feeling begin?
- Was there a specific event or interaction that brought this on?
- Am I doing anything to try and cover this feeling up (aka coping) or distract myself from this feeling?
- Is there an area in my body that I feel this the most?
- How is this feeling affecting my behavior? For example, am I short in my response to my spouse? Am I drinking more? Am I working longer hours? Do my kids annoy me more than usual?
Remember that feelings are like road signs and signals; they aren’t good or bad. They exist to inform us and help us navigate life. It is the choices we make as a result of our feelings that can become helpful or harmful.
During the process of examining my feelings, I also tune into my thoughts. Often our thoughts produce our feelings. And once I get clear on my thinking, I sort out the truth from the lies. I use Scripture as my sieve, and often ask a trusted friend to listen and reflect what they see/hear as well. Counseling is also a beneficial tool to help you sift and sort through your thoughts and feelings.
A deception that surfaced for me involved equating busyness with spiritual maturity. The more I do, the more I love Jesus. Boy was that a big lie! What lies do you believe?
Many months have passed and I’m happy to report that I’m content with my pace of life. After all, it’s just a season. A winter season offering me fresh experiences and new ways to grow. Ecclesiastes tells us there is a season and time for everything. Don’t waste your winter!